Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I deserve this hangover.
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