we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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