Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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