Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
