I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I will be naked everywhere
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
