I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Randomize
