Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
