I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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