Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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