i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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