but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
