im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
