Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
