never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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