we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
