we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Randomize
