All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
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