He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
