just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
