i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
