soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
