I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
You are the jesus of drinking
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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