remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
