Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
