i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
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