Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Randomize
