You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
So squirting runs in the family.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
