I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize