Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Randomize
