So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
