cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
