Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize