im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Randomize
