I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
too bad you live with your parents still
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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