So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
