i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
my poor anus
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
