my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
