the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
