So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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