Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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