This girl is more easily done than said...
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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