dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize