i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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