SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
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