I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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