I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
