weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
