so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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