I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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