Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
