So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
