she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
