Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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