low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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