You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize
