Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
