My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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