i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
