I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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