I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize