help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
